Foolish Deceiver Page 15

  Quickly getting up from the kitchen table, Allie went to him and put her arms around him. 'Hi, Daddy,' she said huskily. He hugged her hard, and, when he released her, Allie went to her mother. 'I'm sorry about the way I acted when I first came. Let's start over.' Wrapping her arms about the older woman, she whispered mistily, 'Hi, Mom, I'm glad I came home.'

  As the months passed, Allie was glad that she had come home. Emotionally, it wasn't a particularly easy time for her. Her love for Linc was too intense, too lasting to dismiss—the pain of their estrangement too poignant to purge. However, the loving, caring relationship that grew up between her and her parents helped her through her worst moments and gradually she learned that a life without Linc could still be worth living.

  They settled into a comfortable routine and Allie enjoyed her role as the daughter of the house. She didn't go out to work, but her parents organised a den for her and she continued working on her fish-count program and, when it was finished, tackled new projects.

  She also learned to cook. It proved to be a more valuable lesson than merely learning her way about the kitchen. She'd always felt bitter about her parents' pride in her academic accomplishments. It had seemed that they basked in her reflected glory, taking credit for her intelligence when it was no more than an accident of birth. However, when they exhibited the same pride, the same pleasure in her first not-quite-successful cake-baking venture, she saw them with a new perspective. They loved her. They would have been just as proud of her had she been a poor student who worked and endeavoured to receive a 'C'.

  This new understanding cast a different light on her attitude towards her intelligence, as well. She began to see that part of the reason she'd resented her parents' pride in her brilliance had been because they had drawn attention to her uniqueness. Inside, she knew she had always felt half ashamed of her high IQ. She'd thought it made her a freak, and her seeing herself as one had caused her to live her life accordingly. Her absent-mindedness, her dowdy clothes until Clare had taken her in hand, her failure to learn anything of the world outside her narrow academic field—they were all props for the role she saw herself in. As for the rest of the world, she'd expected people to resent her intelligence, and went out of her way to make sure that they lived up to her expectations.

  This new insight was evident when she received an invitation to speak at the annual convention of the National Association of Computer Programmers and Analysts. In the past, she had automatically avoided such engagements, not wanting to be the centre of attention. Gaining the esteem of her colleagues by writing papers for journals as Dr A. Jennings Smith was quite different from actually getting up in front of them and presenting her ideas to them in person.

  However, this time she didn't send her regrets as she normally would have. Her parents were very impressed that she had been asked, and couldn't understand her desire to refuse. As they pointed out, it was a great honour to speak at such a gathering. More than that, it probably would be fun and the trip would do her good. The convention was being held in Las Vegas, Nevada, a holiday haven she'd never been to.

  It was the latter argument that decided her. She knew her mother and father were worried about her. She'd never been able to bring herself to confide in them about Linc, but they knew something was wrong. She couldn't hide her depression from them completely. It would set their minds to rest somewhat if she took this break.

  After the first couple of days, Allie decided that she had been right to come to the convention. She was learning a lot from the lectures, but not half as much as she was from the social times in between them. She'd fallen in with a group of the younger delegates, and they'd been educating her to the ways of blackjack, poker and chemin de fer. Some of the lessons were kind of expensive, but the money didn't seem important. They were a cheerful group, none of them serious gamblers, and they laughed whether they won or lost.

  Late in the afternoon of the third day, Allie excused herself early from her friends. Gathering up the chips lying in front of her on the black-jack table, she slipped them into her bag. 'I'm going to call it a day,' she announced to no one in particular, turning to slide off her stool.

  The man next to her looked up from the cards he'd been studying, saying, 'Stay a while longer. You can't quit when you're winning.' He grinned at her.

  Allie made a little face. She had won this afternoon, but then, according to that old saying, lucky at cards, unlucky in love. 'I should be going. I want to go over my notes for tonight.' Her talk was scheduled for that evening's session. Also, she had an appointment with the representative of a software firm beforehand to discuss selling the rights to her fish-count program. Oddly enough, she was more nervous about the latter than of getting up in front of a large crowd and speaking. She'd always been employed for a salary, and this was the first time she'd been faced with selling a program she'd developed on her own. It was rather frightening.

  Eric Peterson wasn't going to let her slip away from him that easily, though. Over the last couple of days he'd been quite impressed with Allie Smith, and wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to have her to himself for a while. The fact that she was obviously an expert in his own field was secondary, although he didn't like stupid women. Dove-grey eyes, blonde hair like spun silk and a curvy, sensual figure overrode any considerations for her IQ.

  When the dealer laid a king on the three and ten he was holding, he scooped up his remaining chips and gave up his seat at the table to join Allie. That old saying could work both ways. Unlucky at cards ...

  'You probably know your speech backwards by now. Let me buy you some dinner,' he suggested, catching up with her a few yards away.

  'I couldn't eat,' Allie admitted. 'The butterflies in my stomach would not appreciate it.'

  'Then let's just have a drink together,' he persisted.

  She shook her head. 'I really want to be on my own for a while. I've had enough of crowds.'

  'I wasn't planning to take that lot with us.' He gestured to the other players still 'at the table. 'I just meant the two of us. Can't you be on your own with me?' he asked teasingly.

  'Oh,' Allie said, disconcerted. Eric was one of the half a dozen or so conventioneers that she'd spent time with over the past couple of days. They'd stayed together as a group and she hadn't even thought of him as an individual. She gave him a considering look. He was really quite attractive, big and blond with laughing blue eyes. A specialist lecturer, he was no dummy and had a bright future ahead of him. A lot of girls would be thrilled at his obvious interest. She wished she could be one of them.

  Allie shook her head, saying gently, 'I'm sorry. I just want to go to my room and rest. Maybe after my talk?' she suggested, trying to soften the blow. Although it was months since her break with Linc, she still wasn't ready for any kind of involvement with someone else.

  'So it will be you, me, and all the rest of them,' he said, glancing over his shoulder at the group they had just left. He looked back at her, his expression wry, and Allie bit her lip, affording him an apologetic look. 'Oh, well, don't worry about it,' he said. Turning away, he went back to the black-jack table and resumed play.

  In the lobby, Allie stepped into the first available lift and pushed the button for the upper floor where her room was located. Unfortunately, it headed down to the parking garages first. She should have been paying attention to the directional arrow before she got in, she thought, chiding herself, but resigned to the delay.

  When the lift stopped, Allie moved back into a corner to give whoever was getting on more room. She hoped they weren't just checking in with a ton of luggage. However, the man who stepped in only had a briefcase and a small bag. She glanced up at his profile as the door whispered shut, and suddenly felt as though the lift had plummeted.

  'Linc?'

  He turned sharply at the sound of his name and looked at her. 'Allie! What are you doing here? Are you on holiday?'

  'I ... er ...' She shook her head trying to clear it, then reached out and touc
hed his arm. He was real, the tweed of his jacket was rough beneath her fingertips, but still she felt she must be hallucinating.

  The door to the lift opened, revealing the lobby. 'Look, I haven't checked in yet. What's your room number? I'll be up as soon as I get sorted out.' He'd dropped his briefcase and his hand came up to cover hers with gentle strength. 'Please, Allie, we have to talk.'

  She nodded, still feeling dazed, then mumbled the number. Linc's eyes searched hers and he squeezed her hand. 'I won't be long.' He dropped his hold on her arm and, picking up his case, strode out of the lift. The door closed and she was alone in the tiny room.

  By the time she reached her hotel-room, her brain was functioning again. Linc had said he wanted to talk to her, but did she want to talk to him? Did she want to stir up all the pain and heartache all over again? Yet could she bear not to see him, to snatch this precious opportunity that fate had handed her? She'd by no means got over him. She couldn't even accept an invitation from another man for an innocuous drink, let alone become attached to one.

  Before she was half-way through sorting out her feelings about this unexpected encounter, there was a knock at the door. She stared at it from her seat at the edge of the bed. When the summons came again, louder this time, Allie took a deep breath and stood up. Her feet dragging with uncertainty, she walked slowly across the room to admit Linc.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  FOR several seconds after she opened the door, they stood mutely staring at one another. There were changes in Linc, Allie noticed. His tan had faded, and there were a few lines around his eyes. He looked as if he'd been working too hard, and there was an aura of strain about him. He'd lost a bit of weight, too. His suit-jacket hung slightly loose over his shoulders.

  'Aren't you going to invite me in?' he asked presently.

  'Oh, yes, of course,' Allie stammered breathlessly. Even with the changes, he was still heartbreakingly handsome—and she still loved him with all the shattered remnants of the heart he'd broken. Gathering her scattered wits, she stood back from the doorway so that he could gain admittance. There was a small sitting-area in the hotel-room, two easy chairs arranged around a table, and Allie gestured him towards it.

  When Linc had seated himself, Allie took the chair opposite. She looked down at her hands, at her fingers strangling each other, then out of the window, over to the clock. Anywhere but at Linc.

  The silence was loud and oppressive. 'I have an appointment in a few minutes,' Allie blurted out, shattering it. 'What did you want to talk about?' She steeled herself to look at him.

  He looked as awkward and uncomfortable as she felt. His eyes caught hers only briefly, before moving to survey the room. 'Nice hotel, isn't it? I'm down here for a computer convention. It started a couple of days ago, but I just managed to get away.'

  Surely he hadn't merely come to her room to check out her accommodation! However, he was here, and there was something she wanted to know. 'How's Jason settling into his new school?'

  With a distracted hand, Linc rubbed the nape of his neck. 'I think you were right about that. He's not happy—that's why I was late getting to this conference. I was in Montreal seeing him. I think I'm going to have to bring him home.'

  She didn't know what to say to that, and the quiet of the room settled back over them like a blanket. When she'd thought of Jason, she'd hoped she had been wrong about his being unhappy away from his father and at school. However, finding out that she had been right, she was only glad that Linc had realised his mistake and wasn't going to leave Jason to suffer for it.

  'I was wrong about a lot of things,' Linc admitted suddenly, startling Allie out of her contemplation of the carpeting. 'I was wrong to send Jason away to school and was very wrong to send you away. I've missed you, Allie.' Leaning forward in his chair, he reached over and clasped her hand. With one finger, he traced the faint scar running along the side of it and across her wrist. 'I was worried about you, when you left. Clare told me that in your note you'd said you were driving back east to see your parents. I was so afraid something would happen to you, what with your arm not yet healed. It was a stupid thing to do, Allie, running away like that.'

  She stared down at his bent head, the dark sheen of his hair. The pain and hurt of the last few months came bubbling up within her and she tugged her hand free. 'I didn't think I had much choice,' she said bitterly. 'You obviously wanted me to leave. You've never bothered getting in touch since.'

  He didn't raise his head and she saw his fist clench, the knuckles showing white. 'You're right, of course. It seemed for the best. I couldn't see it working for us.'

  'I told you I loved you,' she shot back accusingly. He'd rejected her once, thrown her love back in her face. Did he have to reconfirm that he didn't want just her because they met by chance?

  He nodded. 'I know you did. It made it all that much harder to send you away.'

  'Then why did you?' she demanded.

  He looked up at her, his eyes dark and remorseful. 'It's hard to explain. My first wife, Natalie ... we had a very old-fashioned kind of relationship. We got married right after I graduated from university—she graduated from high school that year. I went out and brought home the bacon and she stayed at home and kept the home fires burning.' He stood up and walked over to the window, drawing the curtain aside to look out at the city lighting up for the night. 'She was a marvellous cook,' he said half to himself. 'She sewed all her own clothes; had a big vegetable garden every summer and canned and froze all the produce.'

  'I see,' Allie muttered when he lapsed into silence again, caught up in his reflections of the past. She saw only too well. Natalie Summerville was about as different from her as another woman could be. Even after all her mother's lessons, she was still only a passable cook. As for those other talents—there was no way. Maybe if Linc had wanted someone who could solve a second-degree differential equation, she would have done. However, she'd never succeed as anyone's image of the perfect housewife. He'd known that, too, so it was no wonder he'd ended their relationship. He wanted a domesticated type ... someone like Elaine.

  Allie afforded him a keen glance. His back was still turned to her. Maybe this was why he'd been so insistent about seeing her. He was a kind man. He'd want to break the news of his marriage to Elaine gently, to try to make her understand his motives..

  'I'm already a little late for my appointment,' Allie said briskly, jumping up from her chair. The tears gathering in her throat were nearly choking her, but she managed to keep her voice level. 'I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave.'

  Linc's head snapped around as she spoke, and he stared at her in confusion, mingled with irritation. 'What do you mean, leave? I haven't even started ‑'

  'I'm asking you to leave. I think you've said everything that's necessary.'

  'I—'

  'Look, Linc!' Allie cut him off ruthlessly yet again and his features hardened in anger. Her control slipping, Allie fired her own wrath to light, tearing into him unmindful of betraying her jealousy. 'I don't want to hear it. So you were married to a paragon of womanly talent and now you've found another one in Elaine! Well, bully for you!'

  'Is that why you think I told you about Natalie? Because I want another wife like her and I want that wife to be Elaine}' His anger vanished, replaced by astonishment. 'Listen to me, Allie,' he demanded, coming over to catch her by the shoulders. She tried to twist free but he held her firm. At his touch, the dam that was holding back her tears burst and they flowed down her cheeks. 'I am not marrying Elaine. I don't want to and I have never wanted to marry Elaine.'

  In her distress, Allie wasn't immediately cognisant of what he had said. He pulled her against his hard chest, cradling her head firmly against his shoulder. 'I am not marrying Elaine, you silly girl,' he reassured her. His hand ran over the smooth satin of her hair, imparting comfort. 'I don't know where you get your crazy ideas, but that one is way off-base. I've known Elaine for a long time, but I honestly have never even thought of her that w
ay. I've taken her around a bit, because she doesn't make friends easily and doesn't have much of a social life, but that's all that has ever been between us.'

  There was no denying the sincerity in his voice, and it soothed away her fears. Quiet against his chest now, Allie felt weak-kneed with relief. She'd been so sure that was what he had come to tell her. The temptation to linger in his arms was overpowering, but after a moment he eased her away from him and peered down into her tear-washed eyes. 'Now that that is straightened out, will you let me finish telling you what I have to say?'

  Allie looked up at him, her grey eyes wide and vulnerable. She wanted only to go back into his embrace, to be held against him without explanations. A cold trickle of apprehension slid down her spine. She didn't want to hear any explanations. He'd told her when he first came in that he had sent her away because he didn't think that it could ever work between them. Nothing had really changed.

  She stepped back from him and he let his arms fall to his side. 'I'm not like your first wife, Linc. I don't think that I could ever be like her. I'm just not cut out to be the hausfrau.'

  'I don't want you to be,' Linc said with emphasis. 'You didn't let me finish talking the first time. I loved Natalie when we first got married, but by the time she died ... I was upset, of course, but in a way it got me out of a marriage that I wasn't happy in. We never argued, but we had absolutely nothing in common in the end, except Jason. I wanted more from a marriage partner than just good food, a clean house, and a warm bed. To put it bluntly, Natalie bored me.'

  He moved over to Allie, not taking her in his arms, but gently laying his hands on her shoulders. 'I drove you away because even though I knew I was in love with you, I was afraid that if we continued in our relationship it would go the way things did in my first marriage. I'm still a little afraid of that.'